Others are easily gas-lighted into believing this bully is remarkable because the adult bully tends to spend a great amount of time on their work. They appear to be involved in helping others, or creating something remarkable when in fact their motive is to use these activities to fuel the narcissist’s need for perfection and uniqueness. They protect their appearance of specialness with position, money, bullying, and a supporting cast of other people. They will (if their narcissism goes untreated) bully their way through life and relationships, while appearing as if they are living the ideal life. Adult bullies rely on a “massive denial of reality” to maintain their lives.
These thought are mostly from “The Search for the Real Self: Unmasking the Personality Disorders of our Age,” James F Masterson, M.D.
The adult bully who uses words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This type of bullying also has the advantage – to the bully – of being difficult to document. So long as the other individual agrees with or supports the verbal adult bully, the bully will be positive toward them, but once the bully is challenged the bully will begin to use Saul Alinsky type tactics.
Alinsky said that ridicule is man’s most potent weapon because it is almost impossible to counterattack. Ridicule is not based on fact but on emotion. Ridicule is always to demean the other person. Ridicule is used when the user has no logical or reasonable rebuttal, most often because of the ridiculer’s lack of knowledge or intellect. Ridicule is used often by adult bullies.
Tyrants whether in small local organizations, national organizations, or governments understand and utilized the tactic of a Verbal Adult Bully. Ivan the Terrible, Robespierre, Stalin, Hitler and many other tyrants were masters at pejorative name calling. They would belittle those who disagreed with them or challenged them with insults and insinuate the challenger had very negative personal characteristics.
Adult bullies do and have made excellent dictators and tyrants. In a dictatorship or tyrannical state, opposition cannot be tolerated. Those who would openly challenge the dictator must be publicly humiliated or destroyed; otherwise the challenges will eventually lead to the downfall of the tyrant. The adult bully or tyrant understands that their irrational arguments must be personally insulting and degrading to the opponent.
Adult bullies do not and have not functioned effectively in free and open societies. Free and open societies flourish when leaders exhibit qualities of confidence, determination, and yes, humility. The greatest leaders in our history; Washington, Lincoln, Coolidge, Reagan, and others did not humiliate others with pejorative personal attacks. They were not adult bullies. They were men of character and veracity.
It is so critical that we in America today scrutinize those who would aspire to be president. We have had seven years of tyrannical like leadership. We have seen the damage to our free nation that a narcissistic verbal adult bully can and has done to our constitutional and moral values. We must elect a true leader in the mold of those great leaders like Washington, Lincoln, Coolidge, and Reagan who understood and believed in the principles of freedom our forefathers understood and instituted; rule of law, limited government, divided government, rule by the people, and were men of character and veracity.